Miss Murder
by SaturnineSunshine
Summary: "I'm merely a fan. I love a woman with an assault rifle." She holds the contract and he can't keep his eyes off of her. Contract killers look good in couture. AU, CxB.


A/N: So this is a little something that I just came up with. I have no initial plans to continue this. I don't really know where it would go from here. Or behind, as the case may be. But this is very AU in a huge genre way inspired by season 6 and my cutthroat lovers. CxB.

Summary: "I'm merely a fan. I love a woman with an assault rifle." She holds the contract and he can't keep his eyes off of her. Rifles go well with couture.

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. I use the characters as I wish, but all his Gossip Girl. No beta. Just me.

* * *

"Yes?"

The first time he saw her all she was wearing was lingerie. Her little minion sat in the corner, petrified as he leaned against the doorframe.

The dark haired femme only looked at him coolly.

Chuck was sure she didn't mind the way he was looking at her. Then again, who could blame him?

"Expecting someone else?" Chuck asked.

"You sure wouldn't like to believe that," she replied.

"Would you like to put something on?"

"Why?" Blair asked. "Are you uncomfortable?"

"Quite the opposite," he smirked.

The little blonde's blue eyes snapped back and forth, seemingly hoping she would melt into the wall.

"Can I help you with something?" Blair asked apathetically.

"Oh, I dare say you can help me with a lot of things."

"How about I get security to throw you out."

"I thought you didn't care that I was here."

"I care when strangers burst into my room without an invitation."

"It seems like you do want to put something on."

"It seems like you're nervous and stalling."

"Never," Chuck answered, closing in on her. "I just like your perfume."

"Jenny," Blair said slowly, "go check the hydrangeas."

Chuck watched the little thing scamper out of the room.

"Are you flowers in any danger?"

"You tell me."

"You're an artist," Chuck said.

"I didn't realize you were here to compliment me to death."

"Do you have a problem with it?"

"Just getting bored."

"With my father," Chuck reiterated.

Finally her face fell.

"I find it astounding that we're on the same side," Chuck said. "You really can pull off the innocent virgin act astonishingly well."

"But you know different?" Blair asked coyly.

"When we're together," Chuck growled, "you're going to feel like a virgin."

Her eyes were cold but they turned him hot.

"You're anything but," Chuck continued. "Making my father's death look like an accident. You impress even me."

"It must not be that hard."

"Doubting your own skills?"

"Just your vitality," Blair answered. "I don't trust a man who sells himself so confidently."

"Oh good," Chuck said. "I love a challenge."

"Miss Blair! Miss Jenny say—"

The Polish woman stopped short as Blair looked over Chuck's shoulder at her. Blair walked over, taking the slinky black thing from the woman's hands.

"Thank you, Dorota."

Blair slid into the dress, completely aware of dark eyes following her curves easily.

"Miss Blair, I no think—"

"I said _thank you, Dorota_," Blair repeated pointedly. Dorota nodded obediently and shut the door behind her.

"Either that was just code for your maid to assassinate me, or you don't have men in here," Chuck said. Blair turned her bare back on him to return to the closet. She turned back, holding in her hands an even more flimsy piece of red scrap in her hands.

"Which do you think my husband would prefer?" Blair asked, batting her eyelashes innocently.

"As if he'd know what to do with a refined animal like you," Chuck smirked. "But I've always been partial to red."

"Black it is."

"Perfect for a black widow."

"Indecisiveness is a very unattractive quality."

"I'm flattered that you're thinking of being aroused."

"Like I said," Blair answered, "I was thinking of my husband."

"Not for long."

"Was your only point here to sneak into an unsuspecting lady's boudoir and sexually harass a stranger?"

"And like I said," Chuck answered. "I'm merely a fan. I love a woman with an assault rifle."

"You don't love anything."

"I see our reputations proceed us."

"There was a reason why your father put a hit on your head."

"I guess I have to thank you for that too," Chuck answered. "For taking my uncle's money instead of my father's."

"Jack is talented in more ways than just contract killing."

"Don't make me jealous now, sweetheart."

"Little old me?" Blair asked sweetly, smoothing his lapel. "You know he's in bed with the real black widow."

"I like my women a little less psychotic."

"You say that after you slept with her."

"I see you've been researching me," Chuck replied.

"Like you haven't with me."

"You're unbelievably good."

"I know." Her smirk was tantalizing, drawing him in. "Now leave."

"Getting ready for your husband."

"Not like it's any business of yours."

"I'll be seeing you, Waldorf."

"Don't call me that."

"You saved my life," Chuck said. "Literally. Oh, you'll be seeing a lot of me."

At night, she wore the red.


End file.
